One year and I'm back

It's been a year that I do not update this space.
Or I should say a space that I share my little secret with myself.

Was working very hard in the past, yes!work very hard to earn money for myself, family and future family.
And today I harvest it.

No doubt, the return in term of money is positive, yet the other return is discouraging.

I felt myself lost my direction to only earn money and forget to enjoy and slow down my footstep. I missed lots of  thing and my health (heart) signal me with some symptoms.

I do not have much time to have good communication with parents. Though I reached home early, I tend to keep myself in the room and rest. Honestly, I really feel exhausted with a day of driving, walking with heaviest stuffs, talking. And I just feel tired again to listen my mum or dad complaints each other.

And him, the stress and tension I had make us fell into argument and unhappy situation many times.
We're not happy.
I wish to tell him, I feel it and I know it. The pure love in between us has changed.
I just felt you're scared of me, though you still love me. He never knows my heart is just so pain.
He never knows Even though I am a strong Iron Lady out in the field, when meeting him, I can just happy and satisfy with his warm hug.

I just feel sorry to my parents and him.

I don't expect anyone even you to understand me though how I wish you can.

Today is 1.11.2014 (Sunday).
I was Insomia for about 3weeks plus. I wish I can have a good sleep tonight.

Monday is coming. New day, new hope.

L.O.V.E.